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Amateur writer, amateur dancer, aspiring nomad.

Growing Up in a Sex-Positive Household

Once when I was in middle school, my parents came home from a bar, slightly tipsy, and my mom sat on my bed to chat with me. I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I know one of the last things she said (before I promptly kicked her out and hid under my comforter) was, “Sex is a beautiful thing.”

This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence in my house, as my mom, a blunt woman who had no problem speaking her mind, often dropped little nuggets of wisdom like that. She explained to me…

I’ve always been good at being alone.

Some people might think that sounds sad, but although I spent a lot of time by myself as a kid, and I still do now, it never really bothered me. In fact, for along time I preferred being alone. I could entertain myself pretty easily.

As I got older, I made more friends and spent more time out of the house, but I still relished the times I could shut my bedroom door and just be by myself.

It got harder in college, where I was never not surrounded by people. Everyone was…

Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash

Some of the most impulsive things I’ve done have been a product of my poor mental health. They’re also some of the best decisions I’ve made.

During the second half of 2018, I was in the deepest depression of my life. I had just moved to Atlanta, I had no friends nearby, I hated my apartment, and my mom had just passed away. My job was supposed to be the one good thing I had going for me, but when I, and the job, didn’t reach my expectations, I felt I had nothing.

So I started looking for other opportunities…

Last summer, I lost something. I went from being surrounded by friends 24/7, the familiarity of classes, the comfort of my sorority house and a seemingly limitless future ahead of me, to sitting alone in my grandpa’s lake house, applying to job after job and fighting my anxiety (and losing). After graduation, I lost the safety net that is college. I’m good at being a student, but graduating with no job lined up felt like having the ground pulled out from under me — I grieved that loss.

Then I really lost something. My worst nightmare occurred: On July 13th…

Alexis Meade

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